RANDY MICHAEL BACCHUS, III
November 9, 1999 - July 17, 2021
It is with great sadness and sorrow that we announce that our son Randy III took his life in Denver Colorado on July 17, 2021 at the age of 21.
A Mass of Christian burial was held on Tuesday, August 10th at St. Mary of the Lake Church, White Bear Lake, Minnesota. The funeral service was live streamed and available:
Memorials preferred: Caron Treatment Centers. These funds will provide support for young Minnesotans struggling with mental health and substance abuse. Please donate online:
Randy Michael's Extraordinary Life
“Yes, the truth is, I don’t wanna die an ordinary man” Randy often sent us songs he liked or related to, and this is a line from of one of them he sent this past spring.
Randy did not die an ordinary man, in fact, his whole life, he was extraordinary, but he didn’t know it. Extraordinary means to go beyond what is usual, regular, or customary. Randy was extraordinary from the day he was born until the day he died. Physically, he was a “Paul Bunyan” sized baby and near his end, he towered over 6’3”. Mentally, he lived largely, and had gigantic-sized dreams, goals, and aspirations.
In 21 years, Randy lived a lot of life and to the fullest. He could be the sweetest, wisest, most thoughtful, kind-hearted, hardworking, funny, and entrepreneurial type spirit. At the same time, he could also be independent to a fault, defiant, anxious, lonely, impulsive, impatient, and prone to fixation. Throughout his childhood and young adulthood, these qualities brought both extreme joy and difficulty into our home, but they also allowed him the ability to venture west, get his residency, live independently, start a clothing company and even a web consulting company. Pretty impressive for being just 21 years old!
Randy always knew what he wanted and loved to share his dreams, thoughts, and creative ideas. Randy had a great desire to be “normal” and accepted, but often did not do things conventionally. It wasn’t that he wanted to be difficult, but rather he looked at things from his perspective. As a free spirit, he accepted others and spread joy and laughter to many, several that we will never know. One example was that he started volunteering at The Good Shepard Parish in Denver and we were told had a welcoming smile as he held the door and greeted those returning to mass after the pandemic.
After learning of Randy’s tragedy, we traveled to Denver where he had recently moved. We were able to see his studio apartment, all that he was working on, and his dreams and goals on paper. Ideally, he wanted to be a music artist with a clothing line making lots of money. He wanted to get married, have a beautiful wife, a family, to heal his inner pain and be successful. He was working like a fiend to achieve this and make ends meet but was also suffering from a long-standing struggle with mental health and consequently, substance abuse. In March, he entered a dual diagnosis treatment center in Boca Raton, but after just a few hours, he had a change of heart and in an extraordinary fashion, left the treatment center and made his way back to Denver. On his own, he found a new therapist and psychiatrist for regular visits. We knew he needed more intense treatment, but he wanted to do it his way. After several weeks, we saw progress and in the last couple of weeks of his life, his demeanor had shifted. He was less argumentative, he was taking more responsibility for his actions, he was appreciative, reflective, and loving. We supported and encouraged him from afar and with guarded hearts. We offered to visit him over the 4th of July, but he wanted us to wait until August. He just accepted a new job in auto loan financing beginning in August, and we thought things were looking up.
Randy was returning to his faith, and we believe working on his substance use. However, as clarity and reality settled in, we think his depression and anxiety increased and he became overwhelmed as he reflected on his actions and their consequences the past few months. His last texts to us stated: “My attitude with the music and everything has been way too self-righteous. I am done with the music. I’m quitting weed for good and want to surround myself with healthy and happy people. This has been too much for me and for you guys. I have been running from my past mistakes and I think it's time that I own up and start living a good life. Love you.” Remember, he was impulsive, impatient and hurting and just 43 minutes later he texted, “I love you and am sorry for everything. I love dad and the same to him. I wish I would have been a better person.”
Then, in an instant, he was gone.
Randy did not die an ordinary man. He was extraordinary in every way. Nothing about him was usual, regular, or customary. In his short life, he had made a lot of extreme decisions both good and bad. He walked in darkness and in light. In the end, he owned his actions, said he was sorry, and shared his love not only with us but with many. He returned to us for just a moment and then it seems Jesus called him home to end his pain and suffering. That is extraordinary.
Randy, we wish you were here, and we miss you. We will miss sitting next to you discussing anything and everything, your silliness, wisdom, creativity, handsome smile, and compassionate heart. We will miss all the things that should have been. We don’t understand, we will always question. We will look forward to seeing you again when the time comes. We know you were welcomed by the loving arms of Jesus and so many others that have gone before us. We will continue to be the best parents we can be to your sisters. We will continue to seek peace, try to find joy and with the help of God’s Grace, work to be nothing short of extraordinary ourselves. We love you.
Thank you for your kindness, your generosity of prayer, love, and support. It too has been nothing short of extraordinary.
No One Knew
No one knew the torment,
that you were going through;
We only kept on seeing
What we really wanted to.
We saw the outward smile,
but not your inner pain;
We never really dreamt,
That you would never smile again.
Forgive us if we failed to see,
What we could do to aid;
Or if we failed to comprehend,
How much you were afraid.
We pray your mental anguish,
Will now forever cease;
And that your deep anxieties,
Will be replaced by peace.
We know your pain invaded,
Every single thought you had;
It made you cry internally,
And deeply, deeply sad.
But we in turn remember,
The good times, not the bad;
We remember when you smiled at us,
And not when you were sad.
So when we think about your life,
We won’t dwell upon its close;
We’ll remember all the good times,
And forget about life’s blows.
We’ll remember all the happiness,
The joy and not the tears;
The assurance and the confidence,
And not irrational fears.
Our lives have all been better,
Because you have been there;
So now we leave your memory,
In God’s all-loving care.
© Dick Underwood
"You have to go through the darkness to see the light!"
- Randy Michael Bacchus, III